An Obsession with Monkeys

March 07, 2010

A Parent's Perspective

My daughter Emma was obsessed with monkeys. We lived near a zoo for the first four years of her life, and she visited the monkey house several times a week. She loved Curious George.

At seven, she insisted she wanted a pet monkey. It would have been so easy to say, “No, a pet monkey is not a good idea. Sorry.” But instead (in one of my better parenting moments), I suggested she do some research on monkeys as pets. I asked her to present everything she learned about monkeys to me, and we would consider getting one as a pet. She was thrilled, energized, and eager to begin her first research project.

Critical Thinking in the Bathtub

March 07, 2010

By Ellen Galinsky

Children are born with a drive to understand—to be curious— but this drive can be weakened or strengthened by what we do.

To promote children’s curiosity, be careful not to jump in too quickly to fix things they’re struggling with, since working with the “confounding” situation is where critical thinking is promoted. Instead, where possible, help them figure out how they can resolve it for themselves.

Games that Help Children Make Connections

March 07, 2010

By Ellen Galinsky

Many of the tasks used by the researchers who are featured in Mind in the Making can be adapted as games you can play with your children. Remember, however, that executive functions are orchestrated by the prefrontal cortex of the brain, a part of the brain that doesn’t really begin to mature until kids are older preschoolers. So while you can play some of these games with younger children, it’s important not to push children beyond their developmental capacities— an experience that would be frustrating for you and even more frustrating for them.

Games must be fun in order to be effective, so if you find that your children don't want to play, stop and wait for a better time or a better age.

Bedtime Battles

March 07, 2010

A Parent's Perspective

Bedtime is always a battle these days. Analia usually finds any excuse to stay awake for “just a little bit” longer. After we’ve read a few books, I announce it’s time for “nighty-night.” She says, “We can read three more books and then I can go to bed—is that a great idea?” It’s late, I’m sleepy, and I grow increasingly frustrated with this game.

Reducing Aggression in Children

March 01, 2010

By Ellen Galinsky

Last week, I wrote about preventing aggression in young children, but what about reducing violence when it has already flared up?

Several years ago, Families and Work Institute (FWI) conducted a nationally representative study of young people in the fifth through the twelfth grades on this issue. Our findings—as always when we study young people’s views—were surprising and enormously helpful.

We found that although much public discussion about aggression has focused on extreme violence, such as school shootings, the largest proportion of young people talk about teasing that goes beyond being playful; about cruel put-downs and gossip; and about rejections as very real aggression to them.

This emotional aggression is very much a part of young people’s lives. In fact, two-thirds of young people (66%) have been teased or gossiped about in a mean way at least once in the past month and 25% have had this experience five times or more.

This is not to say that other kinds of aggression are unimportant—almost one third (32%) has been bullied at least once and 12% have been bullied five times or more in the past month; 46% of young people have been hit, shoved, kicked or tripped at least once and 18% have experienced this five times or more in the past month. Finally, one in 12 has experienced extreme violence.

Young people focus on emotional aggression as the trigger for other kinds of aggression—and this insight is echoed in the seminal studies of Larry Aber of New York University.